O M G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was all I could think to sum up that episode in one word (phrase..lol). I don't think, in alllll of Housewives history season opening episodes, that I EVER saw one as EXPLOSIVE as this!! I was literally glued to the screen sitting on the edge of my seat the whole time!! If I thought the last 2 seasons were crazy because of all the Danielle drama, then I'm in for a big surprise!
Let me take you back...Monday night...9:00pm... (I just felt like Sophia Petrillo from the Golden GIrls.."Picture this..Sicily..1937..." lol If you don't know what the Golden Girls was, then I really am getting old!)
The opening scene is a quick interview with Teresa and she says something about how her and her sister-in-law Melissa don't get along very well. What Teresa should have also thrown in is her own brother (Joe Gorga, who is now on the show) CAN'T STAND HER! In fact, I'm pretty sure he hates her! Then it jumps to a clip of maybe the last 15 minutes or so, at Teresa's brother's son's Christening party (did you get all that? lol which by the way, if you saw it, you're jaw was on the floor like mine was!). Melissa is one of the new housewives and happens to be married to Teresa's brother Joe. Apparently, Teresa and her brother were VERY close as they were growing up. All the way up until her brother married Melissa. From what I was able to gather, Melissa is an attention whore who got jealous that she wasn't asked to be on the show 3 years ago when this cast originally started filming. She is always comparing her family to Teresa's and I'm pretty sure that aside from loving her little family, she's VERY in love with herself! She actually said, "I was taught to be a wife in the kitchen, a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom...Praise Jesus!" LOL Did she just use whore and Jesus in the same breath??!! Yes she did!! In all the interviews that were shown in the episode, Melissa is constantly talking about (and not nicely I might add) Teresa and her husband Joe Guidice. Now, I totally understand that there's A LOT of backstory that we don't know, seeing as how this is family drama that clearly started way before this show did, but something just doesn't add up with everything that Melissa and her husband Joe keep saying. It's kinda confusing because we don't know the whole thing but I'm sure as this season goes on, we'll learn more.
Anyway, it starts at the baby's Christening. Everyone is having a great time...Italian families always throw great parties. Teresa decided to go up to the table her brother and sister-in-law were at and say, "Congratulations" again (apparently she said it at the church as well) and for whatever reason (the reason in my opinion is because there was a lot of alcohol and drinking going on and when some Italians get drunk they act like Gavones, which basically means animals) Melissa looks at her like she's speaking a different language and her brother yells at her to "Walk away" and then says the meanest thing you could ever say to a sibling, "You're garbage!!!" *GASP!* Her brother keeps repeating himself and Teresa asks him why they invited her if they didn't want her there. That's when Melissa's sister, Lyssa, chimes in and says, "It must have been a technicality!" Teresa starts to walk away and that's when HER husband jumps in and starts. Honestly, it's too crazy to ever put into words so I linked the video clip that I'm talking about at the top of this posting!! lol You can thank me later. ;)
On a more calm and less explosive note, they show the Manzo's. Caroline's 2 sons, Albie and Chris, are going to be moving out into an apartment with each other. The family all go to check the apartment out and Caroline starts to cry because now she only has her daughter Lauren left in the house and she realizes that once she goes, that's it, no more kids in the Manzo nest! It was heartwarming to watch and even though I'm not a mom yet, I could imagine what she was feeling. They are such a close-knit family and it reminds me of how my family and I are.
Then they show Jacqueline. She decides to go visit her daughter, Ashley, at work. Ashley started an intern position at Lizzie Grubman's PR Firm, which actually would make sense seeing as how Lizzie is just about as crazy as Ashley is. While Jacqueline was there she got to meet Lizzie and asked her how her daughter was doing so far. Lizzie told her that "she needs to start coming in more." Jacqueline also learns that this isn't a paid internship so she suggests to Ashley that she get another job that pays her so that she can move into the the city (NYC that is) like she wants to. This makes Ashley all upset because God forbid she have to work for anything she gets. She's a brat and really has no respect at all for her mother. All Jacqueline tries to do is give her advice and guidance and Ashley just isn't having it. After Ashley's crying scene in Lizzie's office, Jacqueline and her husband Chris are sitting in a diner waiting for Ashley to get there and as soon as she does, it's on with the waterworks again! She starts telling them why she hasn't been to work on time (it's early, there's a lot of traffic..blah blah blah...) She's soo dramatic and stupid about everything! Can you tell I really am not a fan of Ashley?? Chris makes a deal with her that if she starts to take her internship more seriously and also gets a job that pays her, he will pay for her expenses to commute back and forth to the city every day, that way she can save the money she makes from the paying job and will eventually be able to get this apartment she wants. Jacqueline gets upset that just Chris and Ashley are having the conversation because every time she tries to say something or ask Ashley a question, Ashley just ignores her or cries or says something stupid. This causes Jacqueline to get so frustrated and upset that she ends up leaving the 2 of them in the diner to continue their conversation. Poor Jacqueline!
Oh, I almost forgot about the other new housewife! Kathy! She's Teresa's cousin. Her and her husband Rich have been close with Teresa and Joe for a long time. I'm not sure what to make of Kathy yet. She seems like she might play both sides of the fence (between Teresa and her brother Joe and Melissa). I think she wants the family to stop all the drama that has come between all of them for the past 8 years but in some ways I think she starts some drama herself. She has extremely HUGE eyes! LOL I don't know what made me think of that but maybe that's why I don't remember much about her from the show. I was too fixated on those big eyes she's got!! They're almost scary in a way!
All in all this was an episode I will never, EVER forget! The link above will show you everything you need to know and once you watch it, I can guarantee you that you will be coming back for more!!! Bravo really outdid themselves with these new cast members!! The other season's better step it up now because I have a feeling these housewives (NewJersey) have set the bar for this show. The viewers are going to want to see things like this from ALL of the different casts. I know I do!!
Stay tuned for next week's episode (Monday night, 10pm eastern) and my recap afterwards!
If you need to fill your housewife fix, go to http://www.bravotv.com and read all the blogs from each of this season's housewives. It's all their opinions of the first episode and it's GOOD!
Question for the night: Does anyone have problems with their siblings significant other's, to the point that it's come between you and your sibling?
Till we talk next time dolls: Stay blessed and remember YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!
xoxo Lisa xoxo
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